when i’m old i’m going to say “or as they said in my day “yolo swag””
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police
look what we have here
i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life
things that say a lot about a person
- their favourite character
- the lyrics they write on their hands
- the colours they wear
- which murder weapon they prefer
- how they make their tea
yeah, what does tea have to do with their personality?
- tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
- new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
- tourist: oh you think you're clever???
- new yorker: what
- tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
- new yorker: oh... oh i'm so sor
- tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
- the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood